Leaning in to move Forward

Today is my late husband’s birthday. I don’t like to think about the age he would have been or what we would be doing on this day. Instead, I like to imagine him young, healthy, and having fun somewhere.

Losing the person you love can feel like a crisis, even if you anticipate it happening. Emil was sick for several years before he died and I thought I was prepared, but nothing can really prepare you for that pain and loss. 

What I didn’t understand until he died is you don’t just lose your person, you also lose your sense of self - the person you were when you were part of an amazing partnership. That is the part that can feel most unsettling. It forces you to look at your life differently now that you are solo, and to figure out what you want next at a time where you just want the safety and comfort of what you had. It forces you daily to conquer challenges that used to feel easy.

All of us will endure loss throughout our lives. Some losses will hurt more than others, but all of them will change us. 

The mindset I share for Crisis-Proof Leadership also applies to personal challenges. It’s an approach to life that acknowledges pain and leans into it rather than away from it. Leaning into the pain, the challenges, the hard stuff - that’s where the learning and healing happen. It isn’t easy, but it’s always valuable. 

So much of my life has changed since Emil died. This is his fourth birthday since he’s been gone, and I sometimes wonder what he’d think of the person I've become. He wanted me to move forward with goals and happiness, and I’ve done my best at that. The pain and grief of his loss will always be with me, but each year they are less sharp, while the love remains ever strong.

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